Saturday, May 20, 2017

Tarmo Having an Affair With Estonian Government Minister

Tarmo Having an Affair With Estonian Government Minister

Though his partner's exact name is unknown, it has been leaked that Tarmo is having an affair with an Estonian Government Minister.

Here are two pieces of his correspondence with this minister:

Dearest Illar,

In these trying times, we must establish a new project to unite and protect our people.

Order the Jõgeva Seed Centre, run by the Estonian Crop Research Institute, to begin covertly distributing opium poppy seeds and instructions for cultivation to farmers willing to, under the utmost secrecy, begin cultivating heroin in order to supplement their income. Any candidate interested in receiving a boost to their income must be strictly vetted to ensure secrecy and security before being given any more information. The distribution, production, and collection of cultivated drugs for covert smuggling into Russia is to be monitored by a top-secret team, hand-picked by you, my most trusted friend, ally, and lover.

All my love until I see you again,
Tarmo


My Love Illar,

I recognize the difficulty of implementing a fully-formed drug cultivation trade, but it is of the upmost importance that we are able to ensure that the rural farming community can retain a source of income. (Hereafter, this plan will be referred to as Operation Flower Child.) My love, you have always been the more practical half to compliment my dreamer mindset. What do you recommend in order to restore the dreams of the rural Estonian?

Forever in your heart,
Tarmo

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